Paper Rings Part XVI

November 2995

Ariana’s message had come early in the morning. It was short and to the point. That afternoon, she would send an escort to bring Marie up to the palace, where they would sit down together to talk. Just the two of them. She hadn’t explained herself beyond that, and she didn’t have to. It didn’t matter what she wanted. She was the Queen.

Now, as she followed her escort through the palace halls, Marie’s mouth felt like a desert. Every hallway looked the same. Dark stone walls and wooden floors lit by the warm glow of torches. Few windows, if any at all. An endless line of doors. A cool nip in the air. She wondered how long she would have to live here before it stopped feeling so eerie.

The contrast between the hallway and the room she was led into was stark. It was large and open, beautiful, and it seemed to have multiple purposes, not a sitting room but not an office or library either. There were couches and towering bookshelves, and natural light spilled in through the windows that made up most of the outside wall. Just like the rest of the palace, it was decorated almost exclusively with the same shades of purple and gold as the banners that flew out front. 

The Queen was already there, seated comfortably on a white sofa, with her feet pulled up beneath her and her shoes kicked off on the floor. An open book sat in her lap, sunlight streaming over its pages and the emerald green silk of her skirt. Half of her hair was pinned back, but the rest still reached her hips, its dark strands brushing the edge of the book’s cover. It curled a bit at the ends, like James’s did. 

The fabric of her dress looked lighter than usual, the stitching less tight. She looked more comfortable. Weight was still clearly balanced on her shoulders, but some of it looked to have been lifted, if only temporarily.

As the door started to creak shut, she looked up at them, and the corners of her lips curved into a smile. It wasn’t quite warm in the way that Flora’s was, but it was the closest thing to real warmth Marie had ever seen within the palace walls.

“Thank you,” Ariana said to the guard.

She waited until the door had closed behind him again to say anything else. Marie stood frozen in place, doing everything in her power to stand up straight, painfully aware of the tension in her muscles. 

Ariana looked her up and down as she patted the cushion beside her. Marie’s head felt miles away as she approached, knees shaking. She kept her gaze on Ariana, watching her close her book and set it gently on an end table. Focus on what’s in front of you. Convince yourself that it’s real.

“You’re wondering why I asked you here?”

Ariana’s voice was soft, but she looked amused.

Marie nodded.

“I wanted to speak with you alone.” Ariana paused, considering her next words. “There are some things you need to understand if you’re going to become a part of this family.”

There was no reason to be so vague, but Marie supposed she may not have been able to help it. Everything was always a game in the court, she was learning. It wasn’t a game one could ever truly win, but they all acted like it was. Being mysterious was a popular strategy.

Marie wondered how long she would be able to face that before she clawed her own eyes out.

For a moment, it was silent, save for the chirping of little birds outside. 

“I know we’ve had this conversation before,” Ariana said, “but we’ve never had it alone. I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting into. And I mean really know.”

Her lips parted with a soft sigh. She still sat up mostly straight, but Marie noticed that she had allowed her shoulders to droop a little as she leaned back into the couch. “I want to make sure Caleb has actually told you everything he was supposed to.”

The butterflies in her stomach had started to panic. She wanted to believe that Ariana truly had her best interest in mind, but she could never be sure enough. At what point could she let down her guard and trust that the Martinezes would protect her like family? Maybe after she and Caleb finally said, “I do.” Maybe never.

“He told me you had an argument, but he wouldn’t tell me what it was about. Although, I’m sure I could figure that out.”

Marie didn’t say anything. She couldn’t. It was as if her mouth had been glued shut.

“It was about the arranged marriage. Was it not? And about the fact that he couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to enter this world from the outside?”

“And about the way he pretends everything is fine and everything is going to be fine.” Marie’s voice came out hoarse. “Because it will be for him.”

As much as she wanted to let it go, she couldn’t. He couldn’t help it, but it was their reality. No matter what happened, he would come out fine, almost certainly with a crown on his head. Meanwhile, entering his world was a risk that could cost her and her family everything. If it went wrong, she may have her reputation ruined for the rest of her life, and she would have to cross the Empire’s border to escape it.

Ariana pursed her lips. “I’m not happy that Caleb dragged you into this the way he did,” she admitted, “and his father is even more angry with him.”

Marie wouldn’t say that “dragged” was the right word exactly, but he could have refrained. He could have chosen not to meet up with her again after they first met. He could have chosen to pretend she didn’t exist and go about his life. But he hadn’t. He had chosen the most dangerous path. Because he loved her, yes. But also because he was reckless. 

“He has created a political headache for himself and for us over you.” A girl from the village. A daughter of jewelers, not nobles or military officers. Ariana didn’t have to say it out loud. “But I also know that he only did it because he’s spent his whole life getting what he wants. People want to be on his good side because he’s the Heir Apparent. He’s going to be their king one day. And we have power. So he’s not likely to face consequences in the same way anybody else would.”

While she didn’t disagree, Marie had to bite her tongue. Ariana couldn’t pretend that her family’s world wasn’t hers too. She hadn’t grown up in the court, but she had grown up as the daughter of powerful military figures. She wasn’t without privilege herself. 

More so, she was Caleb’s mother. She could have made an effort to remind him of the differences between his position and that of everyone else around him. She could have reminded him when he was young how to consider the circumstances of others and how his actions may affect them. She could have taught him how to imagine himself in someone else’s shoes and kept him from getting everything he wanted no matter what.

All things considered, Caleb had turned out fairly down-to-earth. But that worried Marie just as much. How could he be so understanding with her and yet understand nothing about her life? He was trying, but he would never fully see what made them different. 

“Leo is distracted,” Ariana said. “I know you’ve noticed that. He decided it wasn’t worth intervening, so I couldn’t either.”

“So, I will defend my son’s choices, and by extension, that means defending you.” Ariana didn’t smile, but her face seemed to get lighter. “But I am also happy for you, genuinely,” she said, “as much as I can be. I know he really does love you, and if he can have real love, I want him to.”

Marie wasn’t sure whether she should feel insulted or flattered. Ariana was saying outright that she would support her marriage to Caleb, but she also made it sound like it was at least partly against her will. Maybe that was the best she could hope for. A stubborn but affirmative declaration of support. 

“Is it true that it was never official?” she asked. “There was never an official arrangement with Camilla’s family?”

If it were true, it still wouldn’t make things much better. Leo and Caleb had broken their word, official or not. But at least it made it so that Marie hadn’t taken something that was formally promised to someone else. It meant she wasn’t a thief. And it meant Caleb had told her the actual truth rather than his perception of it, which didn’t always seem to carry the full story.

Ariana nodded slowly. “Technically, yes, that’s true. There was no binding agreement with any official terms…” An open window creaked as the wind pushed against it. “But as far as Olenna is concerned, it was more certain. Leo didn’t give her his word in a strict sense, but he did very heavily imply that she would get what she wanted. And he then continued to imply it for years.”

Marie brushed her hands on her skirt. They were getting clammy. “How many years?”

“Fifteen.”

Her tongue felt too big for her mouth. She knew this was how politics involving family titles worked. But she also knew that less than a month had passed since Caleb’s twentieth birthday. Fifteen years ago, Leo and Olenna had been plotting a marriage between five-year-olds.

“If we were going to make it official, the agreement was that they would be married at twenty-one,” Ariana said. “I think Leo and Olenna would both have wanted it earlier, probably closer to eighteen. But I didn’t want Camilla to be forced into anything as young as I was. And for once, Leo listened to me.”

Her eyes were trained on something across the room, but Marie knew she really meant what she had said. Waiting to marry Caleb off may have had something to do with him, but it had more to do with his would-be fianceé.

Leo didn’t seem like the worst man in the world, but he was certainly far from the best, and there was no telling how he had been when he was younger. Maybe he was like Caleb. Maybe he had hope and dreams. Maybe he had humor and a light heart. But just as easily, maybe he was entitled and careless. Maybe he was as unpredictable and volatile as he seemed to be becoming now.

If Ariana had had any choice in the matter of her marriage, which Marie suspected she had not, it hadn’t been much. A family didn’t pass up the opportunity to make their daughter a queen. But once she was in that position, they couldn’t do anything to protect her. She was on her own.

Each day, she understood more why her own parents were still so apprehensive about the idea of her marriage, despite how much they loved Caleb. And she understood why Ariana had brought her here.

Marie had a choice where she had not.

She didn’t know exactly what the Queen’s circumstances had been when she was young, but it made her stomach twist nonetheless. Sure, Caleb’s family was privileged, but it was also messed up in many respects. And she hardly knew them yet.

“I told him that he needed to make what you’re getting into very clear.” Marie tensed slightly as the Queen took her hands. Her palms were warm, her touch gentle. “He loves you, and I can see that you love him. I don’t doubt that. But that doesn’t change how difficult this transition is going to be.”

“I know.”

Marie’s voice was quiet. She couldn’t have willed it to be louder if she had wanted to.

She was the one who had told Caleb that. He had been better since they had made up, but he was still clearly trying to convince himself that somehow love would be enough to protect her.

“And it’s not just you that you both need to worry about.” Ariana’s eyes were an intense, brilliant green, just like Caleb’s, but the shade was different. Hers had specks of yellow and blue, small enough that they were only visible when sitting face to face. “I know you’re smart. I know you know you have to have children, and you know what those children will be in line to inherit. You know you’ll have to raise them to be capable of handling the responsibility that comes with having their blood.”

There would never come a day when the idea that where someone happened to be born could influence so much of their life wouldn’t make Marie’s skin crawl. She and Caleb had been born within two miles of one another, but they had entirely different lives and perceptions of the world. All because of who their parents were.

Caleb couldn’t change his privilege, but a small part of Marie still resented him for it. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just how the world worked. But that didn’t make it fair.

Yet, given the chance, she would never trade her circumstances for his. She would take the warmth of her childhood over the superficial tradition of his. She could only hope that her children wouldn’t want to trade their lives either. They could have both worlds, and they could be happy that way.

But hope didn’t create reality. It would take work to give her children the life she wanted for them.

“New Years is coming up,” Ariana said. “You’ve spent a lot of time here; you’ve met with the court. This is the first time that you’re going to appear with us in front of everyone. You’re going to get a lot of attention, and you need to be ready for that.” Ariana’s eyes were wide and serious. She wasn’t trying to scare her. Rather, she was doing Marie a courtesy and being honest. For once, she didn’t seem like a queen. She seemed like a mother. “Your life is truly never going to be the same.”

Marie’s heart raced. There was no way Ariana couldn’t feel how sweaty her hands were. “I know. I’m ready.”

But she wasn’t. They both knew she wasn’t. But she wanted to be. For Caleb. And that had to be enough.

“Okay.” Ariana let Marie’s hands go and sat back. “Good. Now, Caleb and I meet alone with Leo fairly often. He… needs the support.” Her face twitched as she tried to smile. “I think you should be there next time. I want you to get an idea of what your job is going to become.”

The apprehension in Ariana’s voice was faint, but it was there. Marie wasn’t sure if she wanted to know what she meant.

She should say something. 

“When is next time?” she asked.

Ariana laughed somewhat bitterly. “Tonight.”

And catch Caleb off guard. That way, he couldn’t prepare her, and Ariana could throw her in and see how she handled it.